i’ve been wanting to start a blog for a while, but i was never good at writing, so the idea went nowhere
Unlike most bloggers out there with endless ideas and flurry of seamless sentences, my ability to express myself let along my feelings is pathetically limited.
today I am just simply here to share, to vent, and maybe to reflect, on some things that have been going on in my life
my parents were recently separated
recently has been a vaguely defined description I give to most friends, my boss, and people who would care to listen. we saw the problem long times ago, but never realized it would come to this some day. nevertheless it’s still sad, and unrealistic
my mom moved out of the house, emptied her closet, and never came back again. to her it was a relief, having been able to put down all that’s been on her shoulder in the past 20 years. to my dad it was an uneven mixture of utter disbelieve, betrayal, and disappointment. to us, it’s been complicated and difficult to face at times, facing each parent on different sides of all kinds of issues, and trying our hardest not to pick sides.
it’s been hard, and it is still hard
what is the definition of marriage, if two people who used to care deeply about each other with seemingly endless love can just pick and leave the house they built together? my desire to be married in the near future seems to have simply stemmed from insecurity, a completely lack of sense of belonging, and unfortunately partly from all kinds of rather unrealistic yet romantic marketing surrounding our lives
i don’t know whether to sympathize with my dad, or my mom
i don’t know through whose eyes i should be seeing, the mess that they’ve left behind
i am going home in two days, will give update if i feel like it
thanks for reading and thanks for the time
